Little T gave me the tour saying, "This one is mine, it's the biggest. This one is Pumpkin's. We decided to wait and let Big J pick one out for himself. And these two little ones are for Molly and Joseph." I hugged him.
Two of my children are vying for my attention this month. They are crowding into my thoughts and whispering remembrances into my ear.
Do you remember, Mama?
They are normally so quiet, these two. They have grown accustomed to blending into the scenery and being carried along in silent ways. They rarely ask much of me anymore. It only seems fair that there should be one time of year they are allowed to demand a little of the spotlight. A little time. I want to give them that, but it's hard. Hard to be the only one. Hard to make it fit into a life that has moved so far beyond them. Hard to know how much to ask of everyone else, to force openness and acknowledgment on someone who would rather keep their memories to themselves.
But I do remember. I promise, little ones, I will never forget. You are always with me.
7 comments:
I think it is so Awesome that Little T remembers and thinks of them. What a sweet boy.
And today, reading your post, makes the second time this month that I have cried.
Lori, you have a beautiful way with words and you have expressed so much of what I'm feeling right now.
I was especially touched that Little T pointed out Molly and Joseph's pumpkins to you. Throughout the year, we don't hang Christmas stockings for Hannah, Ryan and Abby (although I have 3 special ornaments I hang on our tree), nor do we make Easter baskets for them or birthday cakes on their birth days.
However, every year when we go to the pumpkin patch, we pick out three little pumpkins~one Hannah, one for Ryan and one for Abby. I thought for sure that this year, Joey would ask who Hannah, Ryan and Abby are, but he didn't. I think he was too wrapped up in trying to carry his pumpkin (our rule is that you can pick any pumpkin you want as long as you can carry it to the wagon).
Anyway, I can so completely relate to your post that I'm sure that's why it brought tears to my eyes. (((hugs))).
April
ITFL- He is a sweet boy. He has always had a strong connection to our twins, and has always felt comfortable talking about them and including them in our lives. I'm very grateful for that.
April- Halloween is really the only holiday that we so visibly include Molly and Joseph as well. That's interesting that it is the same for you too. I do hang ornaments on the tree for them but, like you, no stockings. No Easter baskets or any sort of reminder at Easter. Just Halloween. After all, like your babies, they were almost our Halloween babies.
It was especially sweet because I hadn't said anything about choosing two pumpkins for the twins. Little T did that all on his own.
I remember with you.
And I love little T. But you knew that already.
How wonderful that your children remember their sibs in such a natural way. They. just. remember.
...it's beautiful.
Oh and I was wondering if it's too early to get pumpkins? Guess not. I best get on that then:)
That was such an act of kindness and thoughtfulness on Little T's part. It must be a comfort to you to know you aren't the only one in your family doing some remembering.
This is beautiful. Thank you.
Post a Comment