His moment

Someone forgot to tell someone that December in the Northwest is no longer soccer season. Someone forgot to tell Little T and the rest of his team that if they keep winning in the tournament they will still be playing soccer one week before Christmas- in the freezing cold, with the potential of snow.  Someone forgot to tell someone and so now my 10 year old is off playing in the semi-finals, in freezing temperatures, with the potential for snowfall at any given moment. Someone apparently also forgot to tell him that all of this doesn't sound fun because he left the house very, very excited.

I found him on the couch staring into space.  I couldn't help but be curious/concerned by his lack of movement and noise and inquired as to what he was doing.  He sheepishly told me he was meditating.

Meditating?  I asked, ever more curious.

Well, kind of.... I'm trying to visualize my game.  

What are you visualizing?  I asked him with a smile.

Oh... I'm picturing us scoring goals and everybody gathered together at the end of the game cheering.  He told me with a big grin.

I've never seen Little T so keyed up over an athletic event.  He is our sports-guy, and he shows admirable talent for a boy of his age, but he has always had the ability to carry the pressure of sports lightly and with a sense of humor.  Seeing his anxiousness immediately made the butterflies fly from his stomach into mine.

How do we do this?  How do we encourage and celebrate our children's triumphs without fearing their disappointments?  How do we share in their joys and sorrows without owning their joys and sorrows?

I haven't been able to go to all of Little T's games but I told him I was planning on bundling up Pumpkin and trying to catch at least some of his game.  

He blurted out, Don't do that!!

Confused, I asked him, You don't want me to come?

No, he confessed, it will just make me so much more nervouser (yes, he said nervouser).

I assured him that I didn't want to do anything to add to his nerves, so I would look forward to hearing all about it after the fact.  But I couldn't help but add that there was no one in the world more on his side than me.

No matter what happens tonight, Little T, I will think you were fabulous.

He smiled, but declared, Yeah!  Especially if we win!!

And off he went... into the frozen tundra, to slay his own dragons and learn how to hold his head high in either victory or defeat.

And I am left at home, keeping the home fires burning, pacing, watching the clock, and wondering how my little knight is faring in battle.

Update:  They lost.  It went to a Shoot Out (when the game is tied at the end of regulation time, they go to a series of five penalty kicks per team).  That's a tough way to lose.  Still, Little T has been bouncing around with his characteristic grin and sparkle.  He seems a little disappointed but, as usual, he's not letting it bring him down for long.

Because it is a double-elimination tournament, and this is their first loss, they play again tomorrow for one more chance to go to the championship.  Even if they lose, they will have finished in 3rd place, which is terrific.  That will also mean we can leave to head Over the Mountains on Saturday as planned.  So, now.... I kind of have mixed feelings on whether I want them to win tomorrow.  I guess the good news is that there will be good news either way.