Five years later I now possess an emotional Stop Button that functions quite nicely most of the time. It is the button I can press when I simply do not want to go there, right now, in this moment. It is the button that allows me to attend a birthday party for boy/girl twins and focus solely on my own adorable, living almost four year old child. And now, five years later mind you, it is the button I can go to when I feel the melancholy start to descend and yet there are dishes to wash, homework to correct and bedtime stories to be read.
I am grateful to have at long last acquired this handy Stop Button. But, at the same time, I am also glad that there are moments and memories that cannot always be so carefully controlled. I am glad to know a song can still bring them back to me- even for a moment.
6 comments:
And sometimes, you do just need to let it play, for a little bit, because the song is a part of you.
Nodding here.
I can't say that I have ever commented here but with this one I just have to! I have to say thank you! Thank you for letting me know that yes, the song will always remember and I too may eventually have a Stop Button.
It helps me to know that others never forget as I know I will never forget but that lingering fear is always there. So again, thank you for sharing this.
this was beautifully put, Lori. i too, now that i have the safety of a stop button for most of my normal day to day, relish and honour those moments where memory breaks through, and he is close to me again.
I have not really thought about that, but it is totally true. And I find that I am actually relieved or ... when I am moved to tears over my girl, reminded of my mourning.
Thinking of you, hope you are doing well.
Beautiful! God is in the tears and the joy isn't He.
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